


Pas de Deux

by donutdistress



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ballet, Childhood Trauma, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Recovery, Swan Princess (1994) References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:33:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22157854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donutdistress/pseuds/donutdistress
Summary: Laurent is convinced to participate in the studio's ballet performance of Swan Lake. The lead, Damen, catches his eye and Laurent struggles to cope with his feelings thanks to his trauma caused by his uncle. When the prima ballerina, Jokaste, injures her ankle, Laurent replaces her and is forced to confront his feelings anyway.
Relationships: Damen/Laurent (Captive Prince)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 98
Collections: Captive Prince Reverse Bang 2019





	1. Act 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to spiritheart from the capri discord for helping me out and, of course, to  the lovely artist! 
> 
> Please note this fic contains mentions of past sexual trauma. There isn't anything explicit but please keep that in mind and put your health first.

For Laurent, dancing was everything. It was his escape, his source of happiness and control. If he needed to get out of his head, he turned to ballet. It all started with a desperate need to have control over something in his life. Elegance and grace required precision. Precision required concentration and control. It was the perfect fit for what Laurent needed: A space to express himself in a controlled way. 

He’d woken up in a cold sweat last night, or more like this morning. He’d known it would be impossible to get any more sleep so he resigned himself to 2 am purgatory with a cup of coffee. He turned on the TV just for some noise in the background more than anything. He sat down on the couch, sipping at his drink as his nerves calmed down. This wasn’t the first time this had happened, by now he’d developed a routine that helped calm him down. Looking at the time, there were still hours before the studio would open. It felt too early to call anyone so he grabbed his blanket off his bed and wrapped it around himself, settling into a comfy position on the couch that wouldn't spill his coffee all over himself. He put on a movie to pass the time and stop himself from thinking too much. Maybe if he was lucky, he would fall back asleep. 

The cheesy early-morning news shows were starting by now. The sun was still too low in the sky for it to be visible over the high-rises. Probably time to start getting ready. It was times like these when he really didn’t miss having a roommate. This way he didn’t have to worry about waking anyone else up and he didn’t have to wait for the bathroom to be free. Letting the warm water wash over his body, the tension he’d been holding onto since earlier this morning eased a little bit. It never truly went  away, it was always something he carried within himself. It was the subconscious way he carried himself, as if desperate to convince anyone who looked at him that he could hold his own. It was the ear always listening for a noise out of the ordinary, listening for any threat. It was the feeling that he still wasn’t truly safe. He’d worked hard to be able to feel comfortable living alone, to be able to walk around the nearby streets alone but there was still so much he had yet to overcome. On mornings like these, Laurent had doubts that he would ever really be free from that ingrained fear. 

He didn’t spend very long in the shower, just enough to help further calm his nerves. He put on some comfortable clothes and slung his bag over his shoulder. Shoes, phone charger, clothes already inside. It was still cold outside, the sun just beginning to warm the earth. It probably wasn’t good for his muscles but Laurent enjoyed how it helped to wake him up. It was barely past nine but thankfully the door was open. Sitting down in the foyer, Laurent swapped his normal shoes for his ballet shoes instead. Making his way to the studio, he flicked through his phone for something slow to start him off. 

The music started and Laurent began with some simple warmups on the barre. First position, plie, first position, demi-pointe and repeat. He knew his turnout wasn’t as good as it could be; he should have stretched first but he wasn’t planning on doing any big movements today. Just enough to get his mind off of things. It helped, like it always did. It was the one thing he could rely on to take the pain away. He’d tried therapists and he  has friends but there was still too much raw pain there for it to truly make any difference. He knew being inside his own head caused most, if not all of his problems but paradoxically, it felt like the safest place to be. 

Behind him, the door squeaked as it opened and closed. A glance in the mirror revealed Nicaise with a yoga mat and TheraBand in hand. As infuriating as his personality was, Laurent could relate to him. While he would never openly admit it, he had a soft spot for the kid. They acknowledged each other before Laurent turned back to the mirror, not really in the mood to talk to anyone. Nicaise must have sensed this and he proceeded to ignore it. 

“Are you going to audition?” Nicaise didn’t look up from where he was  practising some stretches with said yoga mat and TheraBand. Right, the annual performance put on by the studio. It was optional, mostly just for the younger kids that take classes to impress their parents. Older frequent users were sometimes needed as well, to take on the bigger roles or just help out. Laurent wasn’t interested in performing, he never really had been. They way Nicaise asked though, it was as if it wasn’t really what he wanted to ask at all. Laurent turned to look at him, waiting for him to explain what he really wanted. 

“I want you to help me with my pointe work,” Nicaise finally admitted. Laurent was flattered that he would ask, that he must be considered something like a mentor to him. Although it was becoming more common for men to perform en pointe, Laurent couldn’t say he knew many at the studio who could; aside from himself and Nicaise. There were still female teachers who were much more qualified than he was, yet Nicaise came to him. It didn’t require much thought for him to come to a conclusion. 

“You want the part of Odette.” It was part question, part statement. There was hardly a scene without Odette, and even when she wasn’t there, many directors decide to have the same ballerina play Odile as well. It would be not only technically demanding, but physically demanding as well. 

“Will you help me or not?” 

“Sure,” Laurent answered with a shrug. He paused the music providing the rhythm for his exercises and moved to sit with Nicaise on the yoga mat to help him continue his stretches. 

Three weeks later, Laurent had turned up at the studio, bag slung across his shoulder as if he was just going in to practice. It was definitely an entire coincidence that it was also the day roles were to be made public for the studio’s ballet. Since he’d been working with Nicaise, he’d slept better, weirdly enough. Having something of a purpose motivated him to get out of bed each day they’d agreed to meet up at the studio. There was less time to let his mind wander, he had to focus on helping Nicaise so there was no time to have panic attacks or night terrors. Laurent would never admit it but it had been fun, rewarding even, to see Nicaise grow in confidence. It was enough to convince him to audition himself. It was easy enough to practice seeing as he was already working with Nicaise. 

The notice board was surrounded by the anxious dancers, scanning for their name on the list. There was a small crowd separate from the rest, congratulating a young woman. Laurent’s heart hurt for Nicaise, he’d tried really hard for the part and of course it went to a pretty young woman instead. Sure, he was young but he had the drive to get where he needed to be. Unfortunately, ballet is still somewhat stuck in the past as far as diversity goes. 

Laurent took a look at the list, noticing his own name in the corps, along with Nicaise’s. At least he could mentally prepare himself for the emotional comfort he would inevitably have to provide. The kid had worked really hard and Laurent had honestly thought he could do it, despite being on the younger side. Laurent himself had only hoped for a smaller role, hoping to just blend in the background somewhere. The role was honestly perfect for him. 

“Hey.” It was Nicaise, making his way towards him. He didn’t look upset, but he certainly didn’t look happy. 

“How’d it  go ?” 

“I’m in the corps but no main role,” he answered with a shrug. It was obvious he was disappointed about it but at least he didn’t look ready to cry like a couple of the other people standing around. Laurent wouldn’t know what to do if he did that, he wasn’t exactly a touchy-feely kind of guy. 

As Laurent was about to say something encouraging, maybe even put his hand on his shoulder for comfort, someone stepped through the studio entrance and caused an immediate uproar. Laurent turned around to see a hulk of a man being clapped on the back or fawned over by various other cast members. He’d never seen him around before but he assumed that he must be pretty popular. From what he could see, he was built for the role. His shoulders were ridiculously broad, perfect for flinging ballerinas across the stage. Laurent doubted he could actually do it gracefully though, the man looked more suited to wrestling rather than the graceful art of ballet. Clearly, he had to be good however, or else he wouldn’t have gotten a lead role. Laurent was honestly curious as to who exactly this guy thought he was. 


	2. Act 2

Rehearsals started the next day and all members of the cast were required. Laurent was interested to see the rest of the dancers actually dance, in particular, the people he assumed had the leads, seeing as they were being so highly praised the other day. For them in particular, it wouldn’t just be about the dance but the relationship they build with each other. During the ballroom act, there were a lot of lifts which would require a lot of trust in each other. Not to mention all the extra rehearsals they would have to do. As much as Laurent enjoyed dancing, he was glad that he wouldn’t be forced into constantly doing it just to impress and audience. Taking on the role he had would put him enough out of his comfort zone as is. 

They started first with the very first scene. It was mostly just coordinating all of the background character’s movements to flow within the scene. The timing and movement had to be exact when there are so many characters moving on stage at once. To the audience, it would only take one wrong step for the magic to fall apart. Being cast as part of the corps, Laurent took the role of one of the men for the first act. It was difficult, with people he didn’t know and new dances he hadn’t entirely learnt yet. Hopefully with time things would get easier, particularly considering how much time they would all have to spend together to make this a success. 

He’d learnt by now the main roles had gone to Damen and Jokaste. Admittedly, he had yet to see Jokaste dance but he could see just from the way the two stood and interacted with each other they fit the roles perfectly. Even when they weren’t dancing, Damen seemed to stand tall and command the room, as if he truly were a prince. When dancing, he seemed to settle into his role as Prince Siegfried easily. It was difficult for Laurent to truly concentrate on his own steps while Damen was dancing as well, mesmerised by his skill. Part of him wished he’d insisted on playing a female role so maybe he could experience first-hand exactly how skilled he was. And then Laurent realised what he’d just thought to himself. 

Relationships had always been hard for Laurent. He was certainly interested in one but his past held him back. He’d never really let anything progress further than a crush, too afraid of what might happen if he let his feelings become known. This time would be no different. The attraction was a thing a lot of other people felt, so Laurent considered himself normal in that respect. Just because he thought Damen was handsome, it didn’t mean that it had to mean anything. Plenty of people walking around being attracted to other people and nothing ever came of it, so it was perfectly okay for him to completely avoid relationships too. He wasn’t even sure why he was trying to justify all of this in his head anyway. He needed to just stop thinking and focus on his dancing. 

Rehearsals were called to an end for the day. Everyone had just learned most of the dance and it would be a lot to process. Laurent was honestly a little bit thankful to be done. He’d never really danced like that before and he desperately needed a little time to himself doing something that didn’t require so much concentration. He was sat down to take off his ballet shoes and swap them over for running shoes. He’d noticed someone walking up to him but didn’t bother looking up until he’d finished tying his laces. He was greeted with a painfully charming smile plastered on the equally as charming face of Damen. Shit. 

“Can I help you?” Laurent did not smile back. He only stood and waited expectantly, maybe even impatiently for a response. Something within him had decided that because he was interested in Damen, he should act like he hated him to make up for it. If he was cold enough, Damen would just give up and he wouldn’t have to be concerned about surprise attacks after rehearsals, like right now. 

“I heard that you were also part of the swans,” he started, unphased by Laurent’s cold demeanour. “I just think it’s fascinating to see a man en pointe.” There was still that grin on his face, as if he knew just how attractive he was and just how much Laurent wanted to talk to him more, to hear more of his voice. “Do you think you could show me sometime?” 

It caught Laurent off guard that Damen was interested in watching him dance. He didn’t like the thoughts his mind immediately turned to, of Damen watching him closely and examining every line of his body. Rather than feeling self-conscious over the thought, it made him hot under his clothing. Laurent eyed him for any sign of a joke or ulterior motive. “I have rehearsals again tomorrow, if you want to come watch.” He wasn’t about to just perform for him right then and there. If he was serious, he didn’t mind him being around while he was with other people. It was dangerous to indulge him, that meant indulging himself as well. He would do everything in his power to quell whatever feelings he had towards him. 

That plan was immediately dashed the moment he stepped into the studio. He hadn’t expected Damen would show up, figuring he just wanted to get him alone somehow. He hated that smile on his face when he saw Laurent walking through the door. He did not smile back. He tried to keep his routine as normal as possible, slipping his shoes on and tying up the ribbons. Some of the others were already at the barre, rolling through some exercises. Jokaste was dressed in a designer brand of leotard, of course. Her entire aura suggested she thought quite highly of herself, like some kind of dancing queen. Laurent wasn’t interested in people who thought of themselves like that. They tended to never have time for other people, only themselves. He did not doubt that she had simply charmed the director during her audition and wasn’t any more skilled than the other dancers here. 

Damen took a seat out of the way, amongst the dance bags thrown to the site of the studio. He leant up against the wall, watching Laurent cross the room to join the others at the barre. Laurent tried his hardest to ignore him. He wasn’t there to perform for Damen, it didn’t matter if he messed up. At least, that’s what he tried to tell himself. He could feel his eyes on him as he rolled one foot at a time, he was on edge just waiting for the moment Laurent would show him what he’d come for. It made him feel weirdly powerful, having Damen come here only to see him and he was entirely in control of what he was allowed to see and when. He let him see what he’d come here for, using the barre to help steady himself as he rose onto his toes, getting used to how the shoes fit him. He chanced a glance towards Damen and saw him clearly smiling. He seemed entirely blown away to see a man doing such a thing, not in a disgusted way but it was almost envy. It was obvious just from his build that he wouldn’t be able to achieve this, so in that way, he could understand his amazement. 

The director stepped in and they gathered around the centre to start rehearsal. It was easier to ignore Damen then as he focused on learning the dance. Seeing Nicaise was there too, Laurent relaxed a little, taking up place beside him. It was easy enough to fall into rhythm with everyone else, concentrating hard on getting the steps right and coordinating himself with the rest of the dancers. 

By the end of it, he was just as sweaty and tired as he was yesterday. It felt good to have something to work towards though. Once they’d stopped for the day, Nicaise was immediately on him. “Damen was watching you like, the whole time you know?” He was smirking and Laurent hated that look on his face, like he knew some kind of secret. There was nothing he had to hide, Damen wanted to see him and so he let him. He would probably scream about this into his pillow when he got home but he wasn’t interested in letting any rumours start within the group. Laurent told him as much to which Nicaise responded only with a raised eyebrow. He shrugged and walked off to where he’d set his own bag, knowing not to push Laurent on the subject. 

There was Damen’s smile again, his eyes bright. “That was amazing.” He stood up to meet Laurent halfway. “Maybe it sounds a bit rude but I just think it’s so cool how you’re able to do that, since a lot of guys can’t.” He looked a little flustered for once, afraid that his words might be misconstrued. Laurent understood though, it was rare for a male to be able to do what he could, let alone be actually cast in a traditional ballet, even if it wasn’t a full-on professional production. 

“Thanks.” Laurent offered up only a small smile as he untied his shoes and took a sip from his water bottle. It meant a weird amount to him to hear that. It wasn’t easy to learn, not just because it was difficult in general but because of the strict social constructs still surrounding ballet. Already it was seen as not the most masculine of activities out there, let alone taking on a role choreographed for a woman. Laurent understood coming from Damen who was also a dancer, that he didn’t mean it in a demeaning way. Laurent was still cautious, however. While Damen seemed to be honest with his feelings, Laurent couldn’t be entirely sure if his motives were pure. He was careful not to let his guard down but at the same time, he really did want to get to know him. Not only was he clearly physically attractive, he liked his endless charm. He was warring with himself whether to open up and let him in or not. It would be impossible to avoid him, so he would have to make a choice. 

“Will I see you tomorrow?” Damen shook him from his reverie with his question. 

“No, I’m not part of that scene,” Laurent replied, gathering his stuff and throwing his bag over his shoulder. Damen seemed a little disappointed at that but nodded anyway. 

“Well, I guess I’ll see you when I see you.” They started to walk towards the exit together and Damen even held the door open for him. “Thanks again for letting me come. It was really cool.” He waved goodbye and headed down the street. Laurent waved back and turned to walk the other way, back to his apartment. Of course, things would never be that easy. 

“I literally cannot believe you.” Nicaise was right behind him, staring after Damen and shaking his head. “He is so obviously into you and you’re just letting him walk away?” He talked in a whisper so as not to alert any of the other dancers leaving, or worse, Damen himself who was still within earshot. 

“It’s none of your business.” Laurent was short with him. He didn’t need anyone else's input on this. He wasn’t dumb, he knew Damen was probably interested in him, he just didn’t want to admit that. That would mean he’d have to face his own feelings. “I’ll see you later.” He wasn’t interested in opening up to Nicaise, not when he hadn’t even considered the problem by himself yet. 

The first thing he did when he got back to his apartment was shower. The warm water helped to ease his muscles a little but there was still an obvious tension he was holding in his body. It was all because of Damen and he hated him for that. He was stupidly handsome and he hated his easy smile and how genuinely interested in him he seemed. He hated that he wanted him. Laurent had worked so hard to get to where he was today, and he didn’t achieve that by opening up to people easily. Then again, perhaps that was part of the problem. Not everyone was there to hurt him. Logically, he knew that he was safe. Every other part of him was still terrified, however. That didn’t have to stop him from at least becoming friends with him though. Damen was nice, just because he was scared of a little intimacy, that shouldn’t stop him from at least making a friend. 

Laurent stepped out of the shower feeling refreshed. He was more at ease now that he was clean and his problem was solved.


	3. Act 3

The next time he saw Damen was at the rehearsal for the last scene. It hadn’t been revealed what ending they would use for the ballet, so everyone was on edge, eager to know. Laurent was anxious for a different reason. He hadn’t seen Damen or Nicaise since the other day and he felt like a dick for how he’d been acting and sitting on it without any way to let them know how he felt made it even worse. He set his bag down next to where Nicaise was tying up his ribbons, making him look up from the noise. He didn’t say anything though, just turned back to what he was doing. Laurent could see he was nervous, like he was about to get reprimanded or something. It was true that Nicaise was well aware that Laurent’s love life was a topic to be avoided but Laurent shouldn’t have reacted like he did either, he knew Nicaise was sensitive to that sort of thing.

“Sorry, for the other day.” He busied himself with doing up his own shoes.

“I am too,” Nicaise responded. 

That was one problem sorted. He snuck a glance around the room. There was his other problem, laughing with a few of the other cast members. He still wasn’t entirely sure how to deal with that one. He couldn’t exactly just tell him that he was interested in being friends but wasn’t ready to even think about having a relationship. It would be deathly embarrassing if he’d read Damen’s vibes wrong. It was also just a weird thing to come out and say anyway. They still had to rehearse and perform  together; he wasn’t about to commit social suicide right now. Things would just have to happen naturally.

Everyone gathered around to be given  directions for the final scene, waiting with  baited breath to hear what kind of ending they would get. 

After the prince discovers he’s been tricked, he rushes to the swan lake to find Odette. She starts on stage with the other swans, crying over seeing her love dancing with another woman. The prince runs in and tries to explain what’s happened, how he’s been tricked by the same man who cursed her and all the other women. Rothbart then comes along and tries to kill them both, knowing that if he let them  go they would reveal all the horrible things he’s done. It seems like Rothbart might win until the swans and Odette surround him and kill him instead. This breaks the curse and the Prince and Odette, along with the rest of the swans live happily ever after.

Of course they went with the happy ending, Laurent thought to himself. He thought they were cliché but, he could understand wanting to escape from the harsh reality that love didn’t always win. Laurent would know.

It was sweet to watch  Jokaste and Damen dance, even if they were a little bit clumsy while they learnt. They had a chemistry together, or were at least good actors. Laurent found himself daydreaming a little, imagining himself in  Jokaste’s place. He’d never actually danced with anyone else; he’d never really gotten the chance before. He was gentle as he led her around the studio, having to act apologetic while  Odille warred with herself over whether to forgive him or not. Laurent could see himself there with Damen in a similar way. Damen gently trying to coax him into opening up, to let himself be loved. Laurent would be hesitant but, in the end, maybe together they could overcome his curse of sorts too. 

Shit. He really was in deep, wasn’t he?

It was then the corps time to  practise their bit, before they would put it all together with the named characters. Damen was watching him but he supposed that was only fair. There was no doubt he knew he was watching him before too. Laurent had everything figured out just moments before and now his plan was crumbling around him. He hadn’t anticipated just how touch starved he was and the effect seeing Damen perform so wonderfully would have on him.

Rehearsals did not go so well for Laurent that day. He was too in his head to focus properly and ended up making a lot of dumb mistakes. He’d probably have to ice his ankle when he got home, just to make sure he’d still be okay to keep dancing. What was even worse was that Damen was watching him the whole time. He hated how easily he could see himself in  Jokaste’s place and how much the idea of that affected him. 

Practise was called to an end and Laurent silently thanked whatever masochistic god must be watching over him. He rushed to his bag to try and get out of there as quickly as possible. He did not want Damen to have time to talk to him. He knew today was bad and he didn’t want or need to be told as much, especially not by Damen. 

“Hey.” Shit. He looked up from tying his laces and there was the person he both desperately wanted to talk to and desperately didn’t.

“Hey,” he answered, trying to cover up his nervousness.

“I was just wondering if you were busy?”  Again with the nervousness. Laurent didn’t understand how someone so clearly charismatic would have any reason to be nervous around someone like Laurent. “Well, I was actually wondering if you would like to go on a walk around the lake with me.

Laurent took a moment to consider his answer. He still wasn’t sure if he was comfortable being alone with Damen but at the same time, he wanted to try getting out of his comfort zone. He’d been stuck forever, giving up on his crushes and painfully watching them move on after realising there was no point  persuing him. He didn’t want to feel heartbroken again, without ever having given up his heart in the first place.

“Sure.” He sounded uncertain, because he was. Damen seemed pleased with the answer anyway and offered a hand to help him stand up. Laurent did not take it. Although he might be ready to walk with him, he was sure he wasn’t ready for  physical touch. He stood up on his own and Damen awkwardly let 

his hand  fall back to his side.

Once again, Damen held the door open for him and Laurent was oddly touched by it. Living in the city, most people didn’t have time for others, having the door opened for him felt especially considerate.

They walked side by side to the park just down the street from the studio. It was late enough in the day that most of the parents, their kids and anyone out running had gone home. It was still a nice day, bright enough to see but it was getting a little late. There were still a few people around so Laurent tried his best to relax. They were out in the open too, so he doubted anything bad would happen here. Still, part of him was on guard even though he was trying so hard to just let himself go.

Damen reached into his bag and Laurent watched closely to see what exactly he could be reaching for. It was a container of fruit. 

“Did you want to feed the ducks?” 

It wasn’t what Laurent had been expecting. He couldn’t stop a smile from spreading across his face. It was something entirely innocent and oddly gentle. Not only did he not seem like the type to do ballet, he didn’t seem like the type to invite someone out to feed ducks with him.

“Fruit? Those are some spoiled ducks,” Laurent said in  answer as he continued walking towards the lake.

“I figure they get enough bread. They need some real nutrients in their diet.” Laurent was entirely incredulous at the response. It was entirely too endearing that Damen cared about the diet of ducks. He was still smiling and it didn’t go unnoticed by Damen. He seemed to light up at any positive response from him, smiling along with him.

Seeing as all the children had left, the ducks were mostly out on the lake by now. Damen led the way over to the small pier where the ducks started to gather, quacking  excitedly at the prospect of food. It made Laurent wonder if maybe they remembered Damen from his previous visits, assuming he did this often. He looked pretty comfortable, as if it was a routine he had. Laurent liked that idea.

He sat down next to him at the end of the pier and they each picked out a piece of fruit from the container. They threw them out to the ducks who’d gathered who ate them happily. More started to make their way over, gliding seamlessly over the top of the water.

“It’s funny, don’t you think? Taking me out to a lake to feed ducks when we’re performing Swan Lake.” Laurent avoided eye contact with Damen purposefully, instead watching the trees around the lake sway gently.

“Maybe one  if them will transform into a beautiful prince,” Damen answered almost dreamily. Laurent could feel his gaze concentrated on him. It made his heart race whenever he knew Damen was watching him. It didn’t feel like he was being  scrutinised but instead appreciated.

“These are ducks and it’s supposed to be a princess.” Laurent was quick with his reply, as always. He was still smiling, however, despite the deflection. It was now clear to him Damen really was interested in him. It made it hurt even more to think about leaving this opportunity behind when Damen was clearly so sweet.

They spent some time in silence, enjoying  each other's company and the cute little ducklings that had appeared after their mothers. Laurent preferred this to having to talk and he appreciated that Damen somehow sensed he wasn’t that big of a talker. He also liked that Damen hadn’t tried to touch him, even gone out of his way to make sure their hands wouldn’t even accidentally brush when reaching for fruit.

“Would you like to dance?” Damen asked out of nowhere. Maybe Laurent should learn to expect his  spontaneity by now.

“Sure.” Laurent didn’t need to think about it this time. He was desperately craving someone  elses touch and he was just as desperate to show Damen that he was interested. He didn’t want to be stuck in his own little bubble anymore. He needed to break free.

Standing up, Damen offered his hand and Laurent took it. Helping him stand up, Damen led him away from the lake, just in case they took a wrong step and fell in. Damen placed his hand on Laurent’s hip and watched him to make sure it was okay. He was tense but took a deep breath to try and relax. He wanted this. 

Damen started leading him in a simple waltz, following the rhythm of some kind of song in his head. Laurent found himself smiling again. He really did feel like his own curse was breaking at last, he was finally able to become the prince he was meant to be, like Damen had said before. From this close, he could even see Damen’s light blush and feel just how sweaty his hands were. He couldn’t be happier in this moment. Finally, he felt human.

Their dancing was a little clumsy as Damen threw in a few unexpected turns. Laurent couldn’t help but smile anyway. He felt like he really was a prince, the way Damon was looking at him. He felt like maybe he could be loved and maybe even love in return. His hands didn’t stray from their place at his hip but even that felt overwhelming, in a good way. He felt safe.

Then, reality came back in as Damen’s phone started to ring. “Shit. Sorry.” He pulled away from Laurent to look at his phone. “It’s  Jokaste . I have to take this.” He stepped away to answer the call and Laurent was crushed. Why would  Jokaste be ringing him now? How come she was more important than  him? Was this really all just some kind of cruel ruse?

Laurent stood there, thoughts rushing through him. 

“Sorry, I have to go. I’ll see you later though.” Damen picked up his container and bag and headed off. 

Laurent continued to stand there. 

He didn’t know what to feel. He wasn’t sure he felt anything. 

He made his way back home, crying just a little although he still wasn’t entirely sure why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The image accompanying this is more of a metaphor than anything but I liked them so much I thought I had to include it.  
> See the full size image  here and give it a like and reblog while you're at it!


	4. Act 4

The numbness had left and the sadness had set in. Maybe he had read everything wrong and Damen was just being nice. He was sure, if even Nicaise was frustrated enough to confront him, that had to mean he was reading his signals right. He wasn’t even sure why he was so upset about this. They weren’t together so he shouldn’t feel like he’d been cheated on. He wasn’t even sure if he was even interested in Jokaste, or women at all. Just because he felt like they kind of went on a date, it didn’t mean he should be freaking out over being deserted. Just because he’d never been touched like that before in years, didn’t mean he needed to be so fucked up about it. Normal people would probably be daydreaming about the ghost of his touch. His broad yet gentle hands guiding him. He hadn’t really had time to think about anything while it happened. He was surprised by how many tiny details he could actually remember. Even if he was really messed up over being deserted, he found he didn’t regret it. He was glad, even if for a short moment, that he could confront his fears and just be touched and let himself trust. 

After having time to work himself up over it and then think about it more rationally, Laurent felt a little better. Although he felt like Damen hadn’t really understood the gravity of the moment, and he really probably didn’t, how could he? It still stung to be rejected. Then again, he also didn’t know the whole situation. It could have been something really serious. 

He was actually looking forward to going back to rehearsals in hopes of finding out exactly what the situation was. He’d convinced himself it had to be something important, he couldn’t believe Damen was the kind of guy who would just leave him for no reason. He could finally put all of his anxieties to rest and deal with whatever the reality was. 

When he arrived, things were obviously tense in the studio. Damen was the first one to approach him and he immediately felt guilty for even thinking he would have bad intentions for him. He looked about as stressed as everyone else. 

“I’m so sorry for ditching you the other night. Jokaste called and said she’d hurt her ankle and needed some help getting to a doctor.” That explained a lot. 

“Is she okay?” Laurent was immediately a little on edge too. Even if it was weakened, it would be detrimental to the performance. 

“It’s sprained so she can’t dance.” 

“Oh,” was all Laurent could respond with. Not only would they have to find someone else to take her place now, but they would also have to work hard to catch up. Jokaste would also be set back for a while until she could get back up to the strength required for pointe. 

“The director said that,” Damen paused for a moment, seeming to be preparing for Laurent to lash out or something at his next words. “You should take her place.” 

“Oh.” 

It was ironic how they were dancing together the last time they saw each other and now, they were going to have to do it for real. He felt more comfortable with this idea. Saying yes could just be seen as a polite thing to say, rather than actually admitting that he wanted Damen to touch him. There would also be people watching them so he knew Damen wouldn’t push his boundaries. It seemed like he knew that Laurent wasn’t the most comfortable with physical contact and perhaps that was why he sounded reluctant. There were probably plenty of other people who wanted the part more than him but Laurent wanted to be able to grow closer to Damen. He knew he would be able to do it if he worked a bit harder, so why shouldn’t he? 

“Yeah, okay,” Laurent answered. He was obviously a little apprehensive but his answer was clear and firm. Damen gave him one of his signature smiles and then he was sure that it was a good idea. 

Everyone was relieved to hear the problem was resolved. Nicaise ended up taking his own place in the dances that were still missing a partner and everything was perfectly fine. Except that now Laurent really had to deal with whatever was going on between him and Damen, on top of having to learn entirely different choreography. 

The rehearsal was slow that day as Laurent tried to get the hang of his new role. Damen was helpful and patient with him which Laurent was so thankful for. When they finally came together, his thoughts wandered back to the last time they’d danced together. Now that he actually knew what was going on, the thought wasn’t as sour as before. It was a lot less intimate this time but it was also a little bit more difficult. Laurent actually hadn’t done any partner work with pointe before and it was a very different and a little bit of a terrifying experience. He had to trust Damen to support and lead him in the right way. Admittedly, it was nice to have someone else to lean on, he didn’t have to think about his balance as much that way. 

They scheduled a few extra rehearsals, some with Damen and some with the other swans, just to make sure they would be okay for the performance. They didn’t meet up again afterwards and Laurent was honestly a little bit disappointed. It did cross his mind that maybe Damen was afraid of something going wrong again. They did talk when they were with each other and when it was just them Laurent felt more comfortable opening up. They talked a bit about themselves and just simply got to know each other. Damen was the one who did most of the talking but Laurent was happy to listen. It was nice to hear that they had some things in common, like the pressure from their dead parents to actually do something with their lives, more than just ballet. It was sad to know that Damen didn’t have as good a relationship with his brother as Laurent had. He probably wouldn’t have achieved half the things he had without the encouragement from Auguste. He was able to hint at his own family tensions and Damen seemed to catch on. It didn’t change anything between them, he was still careful with him but it didn’t hold them back. He found himself thinking that maybe it was more than just a tiny crush. 

All too soon it was time for the performance. Laurent was as ready as he could possibly be but he still felt nervous. He’d never actually performed on a stage before with people watching. He’d been assured by plenty of other people that he looked really good and it would go fine. His costume looked so stupid and he felt so dumb dancing in it. At least Damen had a similar outfit on too. 

It would be their first time actually seeing each other under the lights on the stage, actually performing for people. He shook out his legs and took another couple of steps through the rosin. It was dark at the side of the stage and he couldn’t quite see the other side. Damen was over there somewhere though, waiting for his queue to come on. 

Laurent came on first. The lights were too bright for him to see the audience properly, which he was thankful for. He just tried to think about it being another run through and all those seats were empty. It wasn’t as if everyone was watching him and even a single mistake would ruin everything. Then, Damen stepped out. It would be okay. He looked just as ridiculous as him in the over the top shirts but he felt comfortable with him. By the time they were leaving the stage, Laurent found himself excited for the next act when they would properly dance together. 

There was a pause as the set was changed for the next act. A grandiose castle where Laurent would start with his fouettes. He was focusing on the moment when finally, there he was. Damen stepped out again and offered his hand to him and Laurent took it. His worries of the audience left him and it was just the two of them in that moment. They’d practised this a thousand times before but now, more than ever it felt really real. He’d found it difficult before to really get into the character but he trusted Damen more now. He’d heard him talking to the Rothbart on the side of the stage before about how pretty he looked out there. He tried his best to pretend like he was luring him in through his dancing and maybe it was just the heat from the lights and dancing, but maybe Damen was blushing a little. 

Their dance was again cut short when Damen sees the swan from the window and he realises he’s been duped and runs away. Back to the forest and Laurent already felt exhausted. It was the finale, so there wasn’t much to go. The fighting was mostly the other two so at least he didn’t have much to do. He really enjoyed the choreography for this scene and he enjoyed just reacting on the sidelines to their fight. 

Damen then swept Laurent up into his arms, as planned. Then, he takes his hand which is less planned and places a kiss on it. This was definitely not planned. Thankfully Laurent didn’t have to do anything about it in front of an audience as the curtains closed. Damen stood back up properly and searched Laurent’s face for any sign that he’d messed up. All he could do was smile and squeeze his hand in his own, reassuring him that it was okay. They were going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading!   
> I've never been good with deadlines or longer wordcounts but I really enjoyed pushing myself with this (even if this chapter is a little late)  
> Please make sure to check out the lovely art that accompanies this fic here and give her a like and reblog and follow and lots of love!


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